Time Better Spent

Short Christian rant to follow, proceed with caution...

I've been hearing some people lately talking about moves of God and the way God moves and how some people are flaky, how they could be over dramatizing how God is moving in their lives, etc. It breaks my heart to hear such passion (misdirected passion) about how people respond to the presence of God. Who are we to say how a person should react to the presence of God? If people run, jump, dance, fall over, shake...etc...who are we to judge that? We haven't lived their lives...we don't know what God is doing in their hearts...

Perhaps it may seem strange, but all of those "strange" or "ridiculous" reactions to the presence of God occurred in the Bible. So God can't do it again??? A few that come to mind right away are...

Saul was knocked off his horse and struck blind...
David danced like an idiot...
Elijah was translated by God and found himself running beside a chariot...
On the day of Pentecost they spoke with tongues and people thought they were drunk...
many in the bible fell on their faces in worship...

Don't get me wrong, I don't think God always moves in those ways, but...Why don't we focus more on what God wants for us and what we can receive from His presence rather than watching how others do or don't respond to Him? I'm sure it is time much better spent...

My Longing Heart

Well, I haven't blogged in a while... Not really much to talk about. It seems that the honeymoon season of moving here is over and life has taken on a pretty steady pace... That is good. I am not complaining but I have been feeling this hunger for more out of life. I want more of God to be precise. I am thankful for what God has done for us over the past year. He has saved us from some very daunting circumstances and set our feet back on the Rock. But guess what?? I am not satisfied with that anymore. Now that the "big" things in our life are back on track, I am focusing more on the personal relationship that I so desperately desire. Maybe the words don't come out well here but God knows the cry of my heart...and it's for His presence to be evident in every word I speak, every decision I make, every breath I breathe... I want His presence to draw people to Himself through my life... I am soo ready to move from relationship (which is good) back into constant fellowship (which is His best). Some may argue that God isn't involved in every aspect of our lives (and I do agree that He doesn't care what color socks you wear today...or even if you wear any at all : ) However, I believe that He will be as close in relationship and fellowship to you as you want Him to be.

That's what He created us for...Can you imagine? The creator of all we see...the originator of human kind...the inventor of love and relationship formed ME to walk in relationship with. Selah....

I choose to allow myself to feel unsatisfied...because it drives me to pursue His presence, to know Him in a more intimate way. I will not stop until I see Him face to face...

Follow Your Heart?

I have always been one to say that I follow my heart. I guess what I was thinking is that my heart was really another word for my spirit. I have recently figured out that that isn't true. Jeremiah 17:9 NIV says that "the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure..." What!? That threw me for a loop. I don't know why I never thought of it before because don't we say "I love you with all my heart?" Also we tend to say things like "I feel like the Lord spoke to my heart about..." These are contradictory as the Lord speaks to our spirit and we love people with our emotions - we are clearly dealing with two different things here. So after further study I began to realize that our heart is another name for our soul (our mind, will and emotions). I don't want to exhaust you with scriptural references but I'll give you one example of each so you know how I came to this conclusion...

Mind: Luke 2:19.... people ponder in their heart (think or meditate)

Will: 2Ch 6:7.... the heart that decides

Emotions: Jos 5:1...the fearful heart and Dt 6:5...the loving heart

The study of the heart, what it is and how we renew it is way too vast to cover in this blog post but maybe this tiny nugget of truth about what our heart really is will whet your appetite for more... here are a few more scripture references to get you started...

Ps 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Prov 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Mark 7:21-22 (too long to type but it talks about the types of wickedness lodged in our hearts)

Ezekiel 11:19-20 ...I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.

Pride Comes Before...

I was doing my bible study this morning (yep, you're gonna be hearing a lot about this bible study... it is so good) and the subject was agape love. Agape love is the kind of love God is composed of. Anyway, what struck me was concerning pride. We all deal with it and there always seems to be an over abundance of it for some reason. I learned something new about it today...

Psalm 10:4 NIV

In his pride the wicked does not seek Him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.

I never realized before that it is pride that keeps us from seeking Him. I thought about that for a while and realized that it's our arrogance thinking that we really don't NEED God. I mean we can handle this life, right? We can make good decisions on our own, after all, God gave us a good mind... We pray about the "important" things and we throw a prayer up for our food and for our kids at night (I am so guilty of this) but do we really spend time SEEKING Him? It takes time to get to know someone. It takes effort. It takes prioritizing what's really important to us and all too often God gets bumped for other seemingly more pressing issues.

Unfortunately, whether on purpose or by our failue to see what's really important, we let pride rule over us if we don't humbly seek God's presence on a regular basis. Pride brings with it a myriad of negative consequences. Here are a few:

...it can be our downfall and cause us to be unfaithful to the Lord (2 Chron. 26:16)

...it brings disgrace (Prov. 11:2)

...it can demote us and strip us of our glory (Daniel 5:20)

...it causes deception (Obadiah 3)

...it puts us in captivity (Jer. 13:17)

I want God to expose the pride that tries to hide itself within me. It may be a little painful to deal with (mostly it's just painful to see the negative in myself) but not as painful as letting it remain in my heart and facing the consequences it brings with it. I will purpose in my heart to make more time for the Lord and to bring EVERYTHING that's inside me and lay it before Him. Not that I will perfect this today or tomorrow or even next year, but I will press toward the mark of living a life free of pride...a life FULL of God. I know it will be worth the effort...

Tas Philas

My bible study today was about Philos or Friend Love. We use the phrase "girlfriends" a lot when we talk about our "girls," the friends that are close to us, but I never knew it was scriptural.

Luke 15:9 NIV
"And when she finds it, she calls her friends [tas philas] and neighbors together and says 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.'"

In this parable about the lost coin, the greek words tas philas are used to describe the friends who celebrated with her when she found the coin. Tas philas literally means female friends or in todays terms, girlfriends! Even back then, when the chips were down you called your girlfriends! I love that. So here is a shout out and salute to all my girlfriends, my tas philas... We should make t-shirts : )

To Be Continued...

This is a draft I found that I was too emotional to finish at the time... I originally wrote it in January and have added the last few sentences today to finish it... I think it's important to post in case anyone is discouraged in their faith as they believe God for the healing of a loved one...it happens to all of us... but we can't lose if we don't quit!!!! No matter what our emotions tell us...

Funny how I was catching up on the blogs I missed during the last week and one of my friends blogged about healing... It's what's on my mind, too.

For those of you who don't know, my dad has been battling Hep C, diabetes, kidney failure and liver failure for about 11 yrs. It's a loooong story but suffice it to say that it's been one rough ride for this daddy's girl. He waited (and suffered for 10 yrs) waiting for the transplantS he needed (both kidney and liver) and then on July 5, 2008 he got the call. The relief that this would finally be over for him was overwhelming as was the anxiety about the procedure itself. Everything went well, Praise God... we were all so happy....until... well, he started getting sick on a regular basis and was put through inumerable procedures, tests, biopsies, drains...blah blah blah...

I found myself feeling very hopeless the other night when mom called and told me he was in crisis and his blood pressure was 70/44 and his pulse was also 44... rapid response was in the room working on him and couldn't get it to come back up. That's the team that comes in because they anticipate that you could crash and have to have a full code blue called (when your heart stops).

I felt like I got hit in the stomach... I would like to say that faith rose up and I immediately went to battle and I KNEW everything was gonna be ok, but I didn't. This is a situation I have prayed so much about and believed God for for so long that I guess my tank of faith was empty. I kind of felt numb... Thank God for the wisdom to at least keep my mouth shut! So I did what I always do when my faith is low... I called (or texted) my 3 closest friends and told them to pray.

Dad pulled through (Thank you, Jesus...) but I was left with a huge feeling of guilt and failure because I hadn't responded the way I would have liked to. It gets hard to watch someone you love suffer so much after so many years... I guess I let it get to me. I don't understand why this has happened the way it has or why God hasn't manifested the answers to my prayers yet...

It is puzzling and sometimes very discouraging HOWEVER I know my God well enough to know that according to Heb 10:23...(NIV) "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." If I hold on to God's promises, they will come to pass as God is unable to fail.

One day I will be posting the miraculous testimony of how God saved my dad from death and the wonderful ways dad is declaring the works of the Lord in his life. TO BE CONTINUED...

A Woman's Influence

I was so excited to start the first day of the homework for our bible study (Living Beyond Yourself by Beth Moore). My excitement quickly turned to Godly sorrow when I began to realize the golden nugget I was waiting for from God today was actually a stone thrown right between the eyes of my pride. You know, the pride we don't know we have? As I was reading along about the missionary journey of Paul and Barnabas, Beth points out Acts 13:50 (NIV):

"But the Jews incited the God-fearing women of high standing and the leading men of the city. They stirred up persecution against Paul and Barnabas, and expelled them from their region."

I kind of blew through that with the general point taken that Paul and Barnabas were persecuted... everyone knows that, right? Then Beth asks the question, "Who did the Jews purposefully incite first?" THE WOMEN! It was the God-fearing women of high standing that they went to get things stirred up! Why? Because God has given women the power of influence. She goes on to ask the question "To whom did the serpent go when he sought the ruin of Adam and Eve (Gen 3:1)? THE WOMAN! He knew that Eve could influence Adam to do anything...

I can't think of any better way to word the next section so I will quote it the way Beth wrote it, it's definitely a "selah" kind of paragraph and one that forced me to look inside myself and repent of some nasty ways I use my power of influence (or manipulation)... So here it is:

"How do you use the fearful gift of influence? At its best, it teaches, nurtures, encourages, exhorts, evangelizes and disciples. At worst, it cripples and kills. The line between influence and manipulation is extremely fine. Influence is so easy to use, it's frightening. Maybe it's the reason God exhorts us to 'gentle and quiet' spirits. We need to think before we speak and act. The warnings in scripture are not provided because we are so lowly, but because we possess such an awesome gift..."

"Today let's risk some honest answers to the question of influence. How do I use the gift of influence in my home? in my church? in my workplace? When you consider your capabilities, both positive and negative, do you see the extreme necessity of learning to live in the Spirit?"

I, for one, have been guilty of using my influence over my husband as manipulation to get what I want. It was not intentional, I was uncomfortable in certain situations so I felt the need to continually express what I thought we should do about it...in my mind it was the only answer that made sense...when in fact it was the only answer that made ME feel the best. I have since repented and will be more cognisant of my intentions.

So, there you have it, folks... day 1 of our bible study and I have already had to sacrifice another giant chunk of my every present flesh.

Fox Hunting

Our church is at the end of the first week in a 21 day fast. This is so much harder than I thought it would be. I am fasting Facebook... Seems simple enough, right? I thought it wouldn't be bad at all. I guess you figure out how addicted you are to something when you can't or choose not to have it. I have started to get on every morning and been tempted to check it several times in between. I usually just keep it up all day and then if someone is on that I want to chat with I just click on them and start typing...

I guess what I am learning from this is that when you think something is a little time consuming, it is probably more than you thought it was to begin with. Now when the "I don't have time" excuse pops into my mind, I will have to remember that it's the "little" foxes that spoil the vine...
Time to go fox hunting! : )

Trust in the Lord...

In my haste to "get things going" again in my life I have realized (thank you, Holy Spirit) that I had begun to fall into old habits of trying to make things happen. I was getting worked up about getting a house, whether or not to work, which school to send the kids too, etc. As I was sitting one morning talking to the family about a passage I just read to them, the Lord dropped Prov. 3:4-6 in my heart.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Don't depend on your own understanding. Remember the Lord in everything you do and He will give you success ( make straight your paths.)"

I purpose to let it all go (again) and to bring it all to Him in prayer and then sit back and watch what He can do!