To Be Continued...

This is a draft I found that I was too emotional to finish at the time... I originally wrote it in January and have added the last few sentences today to finish it... I think it's important to post in case anyone is discouraged in their faith as they believe God for the healing of a loved one...it happens to all of us... but we can't lose if we don't quit!!!! No matter what our emotions tell us...

Funny how I was catching up on the blogs I missed during the last week and one of my friends blogged about healing... It's what's on my mind, too.

For those of you who don't know, my dad has been battling Hep C, diabetes, kidney failure and liver failure for about 11 yrs. It's a loooong story but suffice it to say that it's been one rough ride for this daddy's girl. He waited (and suffered for 10 yrs) waiting for the transplantS he needed (both kidney and liver) and then on July 5, 2008 he got the call. The relief that this would finally be over for him was overwhelming as was the anxiety about the procedure itself. Everything went well, Praise God... we were all so happy....until... well, he started getting sick on a regular basis and was put through inumerable procedures, tests, biopsies, drains...blah blah blah...

I found myself feeling very hopeless the other night when mom called and told me he was in crisis and his blood pressure was 70/44 and his pulse was also 44... rapid response was in the room working on him and couldn't get it to come back up. That's the team that comes in because they anticipate that you could crash and have to have a full code blue called (when your heart stops).

I felt like I got hit in the stomach... I would like to say that faith rose up and I immediately went to battle and I KNEW everything was gonna be ok, but I didn't. This is a situation I have prayed so much about and believed God for for so long that I guess my tank of faith was empty. I kind of felt numb... Thank God for the wisdom to at least keep my mouth shut! So I did what I always do when my faith is low... I called (or texted) my 3 closest friends and told them to pray.

Dad pulled through (Thank you, Jesus...) but I was left with a huge feeling of guilt and failure because I hadn't responded the way I would have liked to. It gets hard to watch someone you love suffer so much after so many years... I guess I let it get to me. I don't understand why this has happened the way it has or why God hasn't manifested the answers to my prayers yet...

It is puzzling and sometimes very discouraging HOWEVER I know my God well enough to know that according to Heb 10:23...(NIV) "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." If I hold on to God's promises, they will come to pass as God is unable to fail.

One day I will be posting the miraculous testimony of how God saved my dad from death and the wonderful ways dad is declaring the works of the Lord in his life. TO BE CONTINUED...