My Longing Heart

Well, I haven't blogged in a while... Not really much to talk about. It seems that the honeymoon season of moving here is over and life has taken on a pretty steady pace... That is good. I am not complaining but I have been feeling this hunger for more out of life. I want more of God to be precise. I am thankful for what God has done for us over the past year. He has saved us from some very daunting circumstances and set our feet back on the Rock. But guess what?? I am not satisfied with that anymore. Now that the "big" things in our life are back on track, I am focusing more on the personal relationship that I so desperately desire. Maybe the words don't come out well here but God knows the cry of my heart...and it's for His presence to be evident in every word I speak, every decision I make, every breath I breathe... I want His presence to draw people to Himself through my life... I am soo ready to move from relationship (which is good) back into constant fellowship (which is His best). Some may argue that God isn't involved in every aspect of our lives (and I do agree that He doesn't care what color socks you wear today...or even if you wear any at all : ) However, I believe that He will be as close in relationship and fellowship to you as you want Him to be.

That's what He created us for...Can you imagine? The creator of all we see...the originator of human kind...the inventor of love and relationship formed ME to walk in relationship with. Selah....

I choose to allow myself to feel unsatisfied...because it drives me to pursue His presence, to know Him in a more intimate way. I will not stop until I see Him face to face...

The Pursuit of Love

God has me on a quest to pursue His love. Not just know about it or recognize it in others but for me to be consumed by it, overtaken completely...dare I say become it? If God is love and He gave all He had to Christ who, in turn, gave all He had to me...isn't it possible for us to be love in flesh? It's a goal worthy of pursuit.

I have recently joined a new church and am so glad we did. These people love people like I have never seen before. I felt like I had been there for years. Also, unfortunately, I realized how love starved I was. I have been soaking it up at every opportunity. Also, instantly I desired to become a person that made others feel as loved as I felt when I walked through those doors... welcome, accepted, loved. Isn't that what we (Christians) are supposed to make people feel like all the time? Wow, how convicting to realize how far off the mark we are. At first I felt defeated facing the enormous task of loving like He loves, "I've tried this before" I thought... but this time is different. I wasn't in an atmosphere of true love the time I tried to study love before. I hadn't seen it in action. I attended a church and they are great people, but there were aires about many of the people there. I can't even put my finger on it, it wasn't that they didn't love, but something was holding everyone back from feeling completely and unconditionally loved. I didn't see it while I was in it because it felt normal. Once there was a comparison, though, I was forced to see it and deal with the issues holding me back from loving the way He loves.

I just want God... I want all He has to offer. I want to know Him as well as is humanly possible. I want to express who He is to others. The Bible says that I do this by loving... it's a tall order for sure, but through Christ I can do all things.

Wreckless Abandon

I guess first I should explain the reason for my blog's name "Wreckless Abandon"... the answer is simple, because that's how I want to love the Lord...that's how I want to serve the Lord...that's how I want to love people...that's how I want to worship Him...that's how I want serve people...

I want my life to be a testimony of the abundance of God's grace, mercy and LOVE! Kind of like an experiment in how far we can actually go with God. I know these are lofty goals and I will also be the first to admit I am far from it now, however, God is faithful and I believe that He already made all He has available to me. It is up to me how much I partake of. I want it ALL! I don't want to waste one drop of the blood He shed for me.