Approaching His Throne

In the text above my picture I describe this blog as a place to share my failures as well as my triumphs...I haven't written much in the last six months because they have been rough for me and I didn't know what to say really.

I have been a stay at home mom for 13 years until this past August when I found myself alone during the day for the first time. I have always had people around, either the kids or family or friends... Now my days are spent alone quite often and I am learning many things about myself--many that I don't like. I was struggling quite a bit with feelings of loneliness and failure...

Just recently I have begun to reach out to God and His Word like never before and what He is doing in me is amazing. I will give more details later as I am studying many things that I would like to publish but I want to glean everything I can from the studies first so the temptation to rush through a study just to publish it on my blog won't be there. But here is a sneak peek...I am learning to approach His throne and what I'll get when I do.

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet without sin.

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16 (NIV)

Based on this scripture alone I know 2 things: 1) Jesus knows what it's like to be human and go through what we go through 2) I can boldly approach God on His throne and be confident that I will receive His mercy and grace any time I am in need....

Thank you Father...I plan to spend much time there in the days to come...

Time Better Spent

Short Christian rant to follow, proceed with caution...

I've been hearing some people lately talking about moves of God and the way God moves and how some people are flaky, how they could be over dramatizing how God is moving in their lives, etc. It breaks my heart to hear such passion (misdirected passion) about how people respond to the presence of God. Who are we to say how a person should react to the presence of God? If people run, jump, dance, fall over, shake...etc...who are we to judge that? We haven't lived their lives...we don't know what God is doing in their hearts...

Perhaps it may seem strange, but all of those "strange" or "ridiculous" reactions to the presence of God occurred in the Bible. So God can't do it again??? A few that come to mind right away are...

Saul was knocked off his horse and struck blind...
David danced like an idiot...
Elijah was translated by God and found himself running beside a chariot...
On the day of Pentecost they spoke with tongues and people thought they were drunk...
many in the bible fell on their faces in worship...

Don't get me wrong, I don't think God always moves in those ways, but...Why don't we focus more on what God wants for us and what we can receive from His presence rather than watching how others do or don't respond to Him? I'm sure it is time much better spent...

My Longing Heart

Well, I haven't blogged in a while... Not really much to talk about. It seems that the honeymoon season of moving here is over and life has taken on a pretty steady pace... That is good. I am not complaining but I have been feeling this hunger for more out of life. I want more of God to be precise. I am thankful for what God has done for us over the past year. He has saved us from some very daunting circumstances and set our feet back on the Rock. But guess what?? I am not satisfied with that anymore. Now that the "big" things in our life are back on track, I am focusing more on the personal relationship that I so desperately desire. Maybe the words don't come out well here but God knows the cry of my heart...and it's for His presence to be evident in every word I speak, every decision I make, every breath I breathe... I want His presence to draw people to Himself through my life... I am soo ready to move from relationship (which is good) back into constant fellowship (which is His best). Some may argue that God isn't involved in every aspect of our lives (and I do agree that He doesn't care what color socks you wear today...or even if you wear any at all : ) However, I believe that He will be as close in relationship and fellowship to you as you want Him to be.

That's what He created us for...Can you imagine? The creator of all we see...the originator of human kind...the inventor of love and relationship formed ME to walk in relationship with. Selah....

I choose to allow myself to feel unsatisfied...because it drives me to pursue His presence, to know Him in a more intimate way. I will not stop until I see Him face to face...

Follow Your Heart?

I have always been one to say that I follow my heart. I guess what I was thinking is that my heart was really another word for my spirit. I have recently figured out that that isn't true. Jeremiah 17:9 NIV says that "the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure..." What!? That threw me for a loop. I don't know why I never thought of it before because don't we say "I love you with all my heart?" Also we tend to say things like "I feel like the Lord spoke to my heart about..." These are contradictory as the Lord speaks to our spirit and we love people with our emotions - we are clearly dealing with two different things here. So after further study I began to realize that our heart is another name for our soul (our mind, will and emotions). I don't want to exhaust you with scriptural references but I'll give you one example of each so you know how I came to this conclusion...

Mind: Luke 2:19.... people ponder in their heart (think or meditate)

Will: 2Ch 6:7.... the heart that decides

Emotions: Jos 5:1...the fearful heart and Dt 6:5...the loving heart

The study of the heart, what it is and how we renew it is way too vast to cover in this blog post but maybe this tiny nugget of truth about what our heart really is will whet your appetite for more... here are a few more scripture references to get you started...

Ps 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Prov 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Mark 7:21-22 (too long to type but it talks about the types of wickedness lodged in our hearts)

Ezekiel 11:19-20 ...I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.

Pride Comes Before...

I was doing my bible study this morning (yep, you're gonna be hearing a lot about this bible study... it is so good) and the subject was agape love. Agape love is the kind of love God is composed of. Anyway, what struck me was concerning pride. We all deal with it and there always seems to be an over abundance of it for some reason. I learned something new about it today...

Psalm 10:4 NIV

In his pride the wicked does not seek Him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.

I never realized before that it is pride that keeps us from seeking Him. I thought about that for a while and realized that it's our arrogance thinking that we really don't NEED God. I mean we can handle this life, right? We can make good decisions on our own, after all, God gave us a good mind... We pray about the "important" things and we throw a prayer up for our food and for our kids at night (I am so guilty of this) but do we really spend time SEEKING Him? It takes time to get to know someone. It takes effort. It takes prioritizing what's really important to us and all too often God gets bumped for other seemingly more pressing issues.

Unfortunately, whether on purpose or by our failue to see what's really important, we let pride rule over us if we don't humbly seek God's presence on a regular basis. Pride brings with it a myriad of negative consequences. Here are a few:

...it can be our downfall and cause us to be unfaithful to the Lord (2 Chron. 26:16)

...it brings disgrace (Prov. 11:2)

...it can demote us and strip us of our glory (Daniel 5:20)

...it causes deception (Obadiah 3)

...it puts us in captivity (Jer. 13:17)

I want God to expose the pride that tries to hide itself within me. It may be a little painful to deal with (mostly it's just painful to see the negative in myself) but not as painful as letting it remain in my heart and facing the consequences it brings with it. I will purpose in my heart to make more time for the Lord and to bring EVERYTHING that's inside me and lay it before Him. Not that I will perfect this today or tomorrow or even next year, but I will press toward the mark of living a life free of pride...a life FULL of God. I know it will be worth the effort...